Thoughts and a wishing picture

 I wish I could go on a crazy adventure like this! How amazing would it be to stand where that guy is standing. My knees get weak just thinking about it.

I like the sound of breaks on semi-trucks. “Chhhh…eeeeaek!” Crazy? Well maybe I am. It’s like the squeaking of an old rocking chair…It’s a super soothing sound. I’m pretty sure I could take a mean nap in the back of a semi. Weird. 

I want to live in Paris…for a long while, oooor a year. I want to be fluent in French and argue super fast with someone and have them not even understand a word I’m saying. I want to go all by myself, but at the same time not. I want to go with a lover, and spend eternity there forgetting reality. 

I want to live in a house, in a state, that’s not landlocked. That’s close to the ocean, but has all four and very defined seasons. However, I can’t even see myself not living in California.

I want a big grand piano where I can sit and play music as loud as I want. 

I so wish I was brave so I could cut my short, I like change…but I like my long hair more.

I think no matter how many times I’ve seen it; I’m pretty sure I could watch Legally Blonde every single day. Reece Witherspoon is too cute. 

Have a great Saturday! I’m off to vacuum.

Happy long weekend

I love these. 

Have a great one.

P.S. I hope that this makes your day like it made mine...

Those little letters

Dear Thursday nights,
Now that there's no Vampire Diaries to watch, I have no clue what to do with you.

Dear hair,
Sorry I've been neglecting you. I have no time to do anything with you. I hope you're content with being all natural or being on top of my head.

Dear weather,
...It's almost June. Let's act like it mmkay?

Dear finals,
You're easy peasy!

Dear shin splints,
You are one of the most painful things I've ever experienced. Go away! Please.

Dear future husband,
I hope you like my elbows. To me they are gross and scarred. I don't like them, but I hope you think they're lovely.

Dear Ktom,
You've been playing really good music lately...I like listening to you!


Dear graduation,
I'm ready for you now. I need it to be summer. Hurry up!

On our way back down to earth..

I think if I don't do anything else exciting in my life...I'd like to go to the moon. It's captivating.

"The baby in her womb, was the maker of the moon. He was the author of the faith that could make the mountains move.."

I

I am...A daughter, sister, friend, girlfriend, student, and babysitter.
I want...To be a good influence on people…and a turtle.
I have...An amazing family. Immediate and extended.
I wish...Life wasn’t going by so fast. Before I know it I’m going to be an oldie.
I hate...When someone takes a shower before me and the rug is all soggy because they didn’t take the time to dry off! Yuck!  
I fear...Hyenas. It seems like they’re popping up everywhere lately! Commercials? Beyonce videos? What is this!
I hear...Say Hey (I love you) by Michael Franti.
I search...For the Lord’s will and plans He has for me.
I wonder...Who I’m going to get to spend the rest of my life with.
I regret...Letting things bother me that are completely insignificant.  
I love...Love!
I ache...For people with problems much bigger than mine with broken hearts.
I always...Put my make-up on before I do my hair.
I usually...Don’t function without 8 hours of sleep. Call me granny.  
I am not...Extroverted.
I dance...And I love it.
I sing...All the time, just louder when I’m alone.
I never…Speed.
I sometimes...Get in weird moods when I need to clean EVERYTHING.
I cry...Almost never.
I am not always...In a good mood.
I lose...My phone. Daily.
I am confused...Constantly.
I need... The grace and forgiveness of a wonderful savior.
I should...Be writing an essay on CPR…

Heavy heart

Despite my efforts to remain positive this week, a heavy heart has crept back in my chest.

I keep telling myself that my circumstances are so much more insignificant than those around me, and even then, God has the big and the small right in the palm of his hand.

Zephaniah 3:17

The LORD your God is with you,
   He is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you;
   He will quiet you with his love,
   He will rejoice over you with singing.

Choosing to be positive

Yes. Today I get to pick my attitude. I'm basing it off of this..

"For attractive lips,

Speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, 

Seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, 

Share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair,

Let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.

For poise, 

Walk with the knowledge that you'll never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. 

Never throw anybody out.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where loves resides."

Sam Levenson

Truth

I feel like I'm in an hourglass and there's only a small handful of sand left on the other side. 

I have a lot of stuff on my plate, with not enough time to get it all done. 

Well, tonight is Grad-night at Disneyland! I'm super stoked, but feel bad leaving to have "fun" while there so much stuff my mom will be doing here to help me out. 

She's truly amazing! 

Fierce

All my life I've grown up absolutely adoring the rain. Not even just me, but my whole family also. Whenever it would rain my dad would make a fire and we'd get all cozy and read or watch movies in our PJ's all day. On days like this it's always chill and comforting. Last year I went on a mission trip Haiti. In the beginning the trip was super stressful because it took us a long time to get there with extra flights missed, but once we got there I was even more frustrated because I couldn't recognize God in every single thing possible. It seemed like He wasn't even there with me...like I left Him back in the U.S. I got super irked at myself and was laying in my bed around my third night there. Everyone else was asleep and where all the girls slept was covered by a tin roof. After trying to fall asleep but my head was going 1235 miles a second. Fast. I was having major doubts and getting really frustrated with God. I had no doubt that he existed, but more that He was with me and the power that He had over my life. So during my total pessimist breakdown it started pouring. Most of you might be thinking Salinas pouring...um no. It doesn't even compare to what this was like. It almost sounded like the Huns were attacking. Anyways, It was SO loud and to me it was like God was using the rain to say "How dare you doubt me at all!" Kinda weird because most people feel closest to God in worship, listening to someone talk about Him, or in nature...but I've never felt closer to God in any other situation than that. He used something that I love and something that was insanely powerful. Something that I was familiar with. Well last night I had the best nights sleep ever. It was pouring and windy and fierce. I wish it was everyday. I'd never get sick of it.

Isaiah 35:3-4


 Strengthen the feeble hands,
   steady the knees that give way;
say to those with fearful hearts,
   “Be strong, do not fear;
your God will come,
   he will come with vengeance;
with divine retribution
   he will come to save you.”

Same blog, new look

Until I figure out how to make an amazing blog design and background it might change a little bit in the next few months. I get bored easily and I like change!
The end.

Justin Bieber inspired

Sure, it's one in the morning but that's okay. I'm up, not tired, and didn't blog earlier today. Not quite sure how I'm still functioning though. Today was a long day. I had to ride in the car to Fresno and back for my schools senior exit interview. We've spent our senior year putting together a portfolio of our best work from our past four years of high school, and we had to be asked a certain list of questions to get our cap and gown. (Which we all did. Phew.)  Well. I was really nervous before the interview. I'm not necessarily a huge extrovert and it takes me a while to warm up to someone new before I can be completely at ease in their presence. However, once again, I worried myself over nothing and it was a total breeze. It went great, and I really related to the two people who asked me my questions. 
 
Well. Today Satan started to creep into my head and heart. Big time. One of the questions (obviously) was about what we were going to do after high school. I'm going to Gavilan Community College. I'm only going long enough (just two years) to get my AA in business and my Cosmetology license. Every time someone asks me the "What's next?" question, I've actually started to become more and more ashamed of my answer. Most of my senior class wants to go on and do BIG things...I mean super important, changing others lives sort of things: Nurses, Psychologists, Doctors, Marine Biologist, Pastors starting churches, English majors, etc...and I want to be a Cosmetologist. "Umm hello Becc, you're not going to change anyone's life with being a cosmetologist" is what I've been hearing lately. Sometimes I completely believe it, and sometimes I don't.

I want to a cosmetologist to help other women and their confidence issues.  The past two years I have suffered from eating disorders and also not liking how I look.  Most of my life I have wished to be invisible because I knew I didn’t meet society’s standards of what “beautiful” was.  Society these days puts a lot of pressure on girls specifically to look perfect and flawless – something that isn’t even attainable.  I want to be a cosmetologist so that I can outweigh the negative effects of society in young and even old women’s lives.  I want to help boost confidence levels in the lives of women.  Battling the pressure of society is not easy and is something that I have to deal with every single day along with possibly every other women around.  If at all possible, I want to make a difference in other women’s lives and help them see that they are beautiful and made in the image of God.  I am willing to work hard and push myself out of my comfort zone to achieve this goal.  I want women to see that they are beautiful and deserve to feel like it.

Well, tonight I watched Justin Bieber’s new movie Never Say Never (okay if you have NOT seen it, then justhush if you’re judgin’ because it’s actually incredible and he has an amazing story. He’s super inspiring!) Here’s this young boy with really big dreams and goals. He’s actually achieved them. (I mean selling out Madison Square Garden in twenty-two minutes is kind of a big deal, right?) I figured if Justin Bieber can do that, then I can be a kick-ass Cosmetologist and shoot for the stars!  There’s a lot of stuff I could go into with Cosmetology, but I have for sure decided that I want to movie set make-up/hair. It sounds easy but think about it…movies aren’t all shot in ONE setting. Sometimes, one scene can be broken up into many weeks worth of shooting, and with that the actors/actresses have to look the exact same! Their make-up and hair both have to be precisely the same each time they shoot and it’s actually pretty tricky to do so. I’m a perfectionist, and I totally love the idea of a challenge each and every day.  So boo-yah Satan! Take that. Even if I don’t have the most significant and feel good job in the entire world, I know that it’s what I’m supposed to being doing, because I’m good at it and love it.  I cannot wait to get started

 Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

 

 

A happy list

15 things, because sometimes 10 just isn't enough.

1. Finding something you thought you lost.
2. Cheering someone up.
3. Pickles!
4. Moments when I'm completely captivated by Jesus.
5. Tights.
6. When I'm able to actually wake up for when my alarm is set.
7. My siblings.
8. Listening to music when I can't sleep.
8. Scars.
9. Candid pictures.
10. Organizing my closet/dresser.
11. Watching You've Got Mail. Over and over and over and over etc...
12. Sheets that have just been washed, pillows that have just been fluffed, and down comforters.
13. Remembering to take my vitamins every morning.
14. Success.
15. Thursdays.

Iceberg

Sometimes I feel like this:

Not necessarily like an iceberg....but sometimes, I feel like I have so much going on inside my heart or head (or wherever feelings come from) buried so deep that even I myself cannot even see all of it, but the little peek on the surface. I keep going over in my head what I have to do Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and ... everyday until June 9th. Oh my. I'm completely half and half introvert/extrovert, but because of all this extroverted energy I've been spilling out, I have no time to recharge. I feel drained and wrecked. I wish I could spew. Don't even know how, or where to start. 

I guess here with this prayer.

Matthew 11:28-30.

  “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Lasts

With school winding down, and summer being so close I can taste it, I'm finally realizing how many "lasts" there are....It's bumming me out. Our last peer review in English, our last few classes to listen to the most amazing English teach in the world, my last attendance (boo), and my last video project with Katrina and Rachel by my side. However I really don't think all this is going to be a big deal to me anymore as soon as summer comes! Huuuurry up.

I am not a mother

Nope! Not yet anyways. One day I'd absolutely love to be a mom, but for now I get to be thankful for my own!

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. -Washington Irving

SO true about my momma. 

She is my true friend. I love you mom!

boooy

He's fun. I'm smitten. He gives me biiiig }i{'s. The end.

Have a fantastic weekend! Hug your mommies!

Lately...

I've had no exciting thoughts. I think it's from lack of sleep and gain of chaos in my life. It's not too fun. Tossing and turning, getting up and laying back down, and staring at the ceiling for hours isn't as much fun as it may sound. Go figure, right? Well despite the things I could complain about, I wont. I choose joy! I'm almost done with school. It's almost summer! I can make it. I'm totally blessed for every little thing in my life: chaos or no chaos included.

Words, come back!

Sometimes I talk a lot, sometimes I talk really fast, sometimes I have absolutely nothing to say. Lately it seems like my mouth and head are having a dry spell. I feel at a loss for my words. I can't find the right thing to say to this person, or I have written over and over again something to say back to this other person but nothing sounds good enough, and the super tricky one...I really don't even know what to blog about. It's weird and I don't like it. I've been talking for seventeen years of my life...it shouldn't be this difficult now. I think my brain is fried from all this senior stuff. I'm torn, I wish I could just skip the month of may...but I wish I could also just slow it down! It's all going too fast. Bleh! 

Kinda ironic that my wordless words ended up a blog post? Maybe. Or just perfect.

Have a great Tuesday.