I'm a sinner

I'm going to let you in on a little secret...I am a sinner. Like massively. I mean, I've never heard the words "you have the right to remain silent...", been handcuffed and locked away, and instead of saying "I don't go looking for trouble, trouble usually finds me..." I'd be more likely to say "Yeah, I did homework on a Friday night and slept in really late on Saturday morning."
But I am a sinner nonetheless! My heart is gross, judgmental, nasty, hard, and full of sin. I make mistakes, and a lot of time I don't wake up with the attitude of "Good morning, Lord! Send me, use me, and take my life as your own today."
What if that's all that there was? It would be terrible. Life would be a wreck. I would be a wreck. What if there was no forgiveness and no redemption? WAY too much I don't wake up with that specific attitude.  Today, I'm so thankful for Jesus Christ and the cross. I am SO thankful that Jesus gives us second, third, and millions of chances DAILY. I am so thankful that despite how gross my heart has been, and even will be in the future the hands that hold the world, hold my heart, and love me unconditionally. How awesome is that?
Today I'm thankful for Grace, and should be every day.

Self Worth

One of the things I struggle with most is my self worth. I have always searched for it in the wrong places. Friends...do they actually like hanging out with me? Am I funny enough? Am I outgoing enough? Looks...Do I look okay? Is my hair alright? Am I skinny enough now? Is my makeup smudged? Men...Am I being treated how I should? Maybe if I was prettier things wouldn't be so difficult. Maybe if I treat them really well I'll get some of that back.
For years, thoughts like those have plagued my mind and heart. However, the bottom line is that a woman becomes a woman when she becomes what God wants her to be. I will not be satisfied with good friends, good looks, or "Mr. right" (whatever that means). I will not be satisfied with cute clothes, good hair, tan skin, or a good job. I will not be satisfied when I get married, or see One Direction in concert (okay...maybe..), or when I have kids.
I'll be satisfied when I become the woman God wants me to be. I will be satisfied when I can wake up every morning and be able to recklessly abandon myself to the Lordship of Christ, diligently using my days to trust God with unwavering faith, demonstrating virtue in daily life, loving God with an UN-distracted devotion, standing for physical and emotional purity, living in security, responding to life with contentment, making choices based on my convictions, and waiting patiently for God to meet my needs. Knowing that fulfillment for a Christian woman begins with the Lordship of Christ in EVERY area of life. Sometimes it might be hard, and sometimes I think "dang this is impossible..." But it's not, because the hand that holds the world is holding my heart, and I trust Him.