One Direction Mash

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6eIpLEgUjw


My sister and I mashed every One Direction song from their first and second albums. Check it out!:)

Oceans.

go down to the sea in ships, Who do business on great waters; They have seen the works of the LORD, And His wonders in the deep.
- See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Oceans#sthash.uBRbYgZl.dpuf

Because I'm a California girl, I've grown up spending a big chunk of time at the beach. Also, because I have two older sisters to keep up with, a lot of that beach time was spent in the water. Honestly, I'm not a huge fan of swimming in the ocean, but I have never let fear, or "what ifs" keep me from having fun or living my life. There's something about the ocean that gets me. I've always been completely awestruck by it. Maybe because it's huge, or powerful, or unknown. Maybe because I find it completely beautiful. I could sit and listen to waves for hours on end, or breath in salty breaths and squish my toes in the sand all day. I love it.

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

Those lyrics are from the song Oceans by Hillsong United. I heard this song a few months ago, and thought it was amazing. It was one of those songs that gave me the "dang it, I wish I had written that myself!" feeling. Despite knowing that it was amazing, I didn't really relate to it. Not until now, when my life currently feels like it's trapped in the ocean. Stuck under waves, being knocked around, in the great unknown, where my feet are totally failing, and I don't know what's next. Maybe it stems from pride and not liking help, or just a plain heart full of sin, but it's hard to keep my eyes on Jesus when oceans rise. It's hard to let my soul rest in His embrace daily. It's hard to let myself be His every second of every day. It's hard to choose joy. Sometimes I feel guilty about that, but then I remember that His grace really does abound in the deepest water. When I'm stuck under waves with my eyes not on Him, He is sovereign and exactly what I need, and never fails me. Even though I can't see over the waves, He will mold my heart and lead me where my trust has zero borders and grow my faith. Today I'm thankful for that.

Sick Story, Dude.

Story time.
Last December I had a series of horrible tonsil infections. 3 in a matter of 4 months. Every time the infection came back, just to be safe, I went and got checked for Strep Throat. Every time it was a "No, but you should get your tonsils out if this keeps happening..."
No thanks.
Anyways, about six weeks ago my tonsils did their thing and got infected again. After rinsing with hot salt water and hydrogen peroxide, the infection went away. Usually the case. Despite the infection going away, my mom later that week got Strep Throat. She told me repeatedly to go get my throat checked even though I now felt fine.
I did, and she went with me...but there was almost a 2 hour wait in a room that smelled like...well, I'll leave it up to your imagination but lets just say really really gross.
Anyways, apparently if you leave your strep untreated, you get insanely sick...like way sick.
Since Saturday I've had something called Rheumatic fever:
"Rheumatic fever is an inflammatory disease that can develop as a complication of inadequately treated strep throat. Strep throat is caused by infection with group A streptococcus bacteria.
Rheumatic fever is most common in 5- to 15-year-old children, though it can develop in younger children and adults. Although it's very rare in United States and other developed countries, rheumatic fever remains common in many developing nations.
Rheumatic fever can cause permanent damage to the heart, including damaged heart valves and heart failure. Treatments can reduce tissue damage from inflammation, lessen pain and other symptoms, and prevent the recurrence of rheumatic fever" 
Sounds really fun huh? Nope. I promise it's not.

• Fever between 100-103
• Painful and tender joints — most often the ankles, knees, elbows or wrists; less often the shoulders, hips, hands and feet
• Pain in one joint that migrates to another joint
• Red, hot or swollen joints
• Small, painless nodules beneath the skin
• Chest pain
• Sensation of rapid, fluttering or pounding heartbeats (palpitations)
• Fatigue and Passing out
• Shortness of breath
• Flat or slightly raised, painless rash with a ragged edge (erythema marginatum)
• Jerky, uncontrollable body movements (Sydenham chorea or St. Vitus' dance) — most often in the hands, feet and face
• Outbursts of unusual behavior, such as crying or inappropriate laughing, that accompanies Sydenham chorea

 All the underlined symptoms are the ones I've continually endured since Sunday. (I'd like to point out that I have absolutely not been inappropriately laughing...whatever the heck that means. I've done lots of crying though.)



"Inflammation caused by rheumatic fever may last for a few weeks to several months. In some cases, the inflammation may cause long-term complications."

Those long term complications include heart problems, but I'm not going to worry about that. God is in control, I trust him, and now after 6 days I am diagnosed and have an antibiotic on it's way to the pharmacy.

Another long term, and heart breaking problem includes missing school. I missed all four days this week. I even tried to get up and go on Thursday, which ended in passing out less than five minutes after I showered.

I'm in Cosmetology school, and it's required for us to clock in and out every single day. Each day, we get a total of 7 hours. You're not allowed to miss anymore than four lectures, or four days of complete school. We only go to school four days a week...because of this, I am forced to withdraw from the program for one semester. If not, the chances of getting stuck in traffic and even missing one minute would result in a complete drop from the program and having to repeat ever hour I've ever put in. With withdrawing from the program just for the semester, I am able to keep my freshmen hours and start where I left off (the begging of my second semester) and come back in the spring. Now all I have to do is try to convince the school to refund my money...600 dollars. It's already passed the date to do so, but I'm going to battle this one hard. So now, all I need is prayer. And lots of it. Prayer that I heal, and find an awesome job to fill up my time in the next three months. Prayer that I don't consider myself a failure because I'm having to take a little time off of school. Prayer that I don't think OTHERS think I'm a failure. Prayer that I can get fully refunded for semester that I didn't even get to attend.
That's all.
xo.







 

I'm a sinner

I'm going to let you in on a little secret...I am a sinner. Like massively. I mean, I've never heard the words "you have the right to remain silent...", been handcuffed and locked away, and instead of saying "I don't go looking for trouble, trouble usually finds me..." I'd be more likely to say "Yeah, I did homework on a Friday night and slept in really late on Saturday morning."
But I am a sinner nonetheless! My heart is gross, judgmental, nasty, hard, and full of sin. I make mistakes, and a lot of time I don't wake up with the attitude of "Good morning, Lord! Send me, use me, and take my life as your own today."
What if that's all that there was? It would be terrible. Life would be a wreck. I would be a wreck. What if there was no forgiveness and no redemption? WAY too much I don't wake up with that specific attitude.  Today, I'm so thankful for Jesus Christ and the cross. I am SO thankful that Jesus gives us second, third, and millions of chances DAILY. I am so thankful that despite how gross my heart has been, and even will be in the future the hands that hold the world, hold my heart, and love me unconditionally. How awesome is that?
Today I'm thankful for Grace, and should be every day.

Self Worth

One of the things I struggle with most is my self worth. I have always searched for it in the wrong places. Friends...do they actually like hanging out with me? Am I funny enough? Am I outgoing enough? Looks...Do I look okay? Is my hair alright? Am I skinny enough now? Is my makeup smudged? Men...Am I being treated how I should? Maybe if I was prettier things wouldn't be so difficult. Maybe if I treat them really well I'll get some of that back.
For years, thoughts like those have plagued my mind and heart. However, the bottom line is that a woman becomes a woman when she becomes what God wants her to be. I will not be satisfied with good friends, good looks, or "Mr. right" (whatever that means). I will not be satisfied with cute clothes, good hair, tan skin, or a good job. I will not be satisfied when I get married, or see One Direction in concert (okay...maybe..), or when I have kids.
I'll be satisfied when I become the woman God wants me to be. I will be satisfied when I can wake up every morning and be able to recklessly abandon myself to the Lordship of Christ, diligently using my days to trust God with unwavering faith, demonstrating virtue in daily life, loving God with an UN-distracted devotion, standing for physical and emotional purity, living in security, responding to life with contentment, making choices based on my convictions, and waiting patiently for God to meet my needs. Knowing that fulfillment for a Christian woman begins with the Lordship of Christ in EVERY area of life. Sometimes it might be hard, and sometimes I think "dang this is impossible..." But it's not, because the hand that holds the world is holding my heart, and I trust Him.

My momma!

Sometimes when someone is in your life every day for 19 years, you kind of grow to like them...

Okay, maybe for sure more than like.

Today my mom turns 50! Which to me is "so old" or "half way to dead!" 

But really, I don't think those things at all about my mom.

She is the most beautiful woman in the world on the inside and outside. She is amazing, and the fact that she hasn't murdered me in the last 19 years is proof of how awesome she actually is. 

Sometimes...I can be a little sassy, stubborn, dumb, and have insane blonde moments (all of those things I picked up from my dad of course..) ;) 

However, despite all these things and all mine and my siblings faults, she still loves us and puts us first all the time. I look up to her a ridiculous amount, and want to be a mom, wife and woman of God, just like she is. 

 

Bad eyes.

When I was seven years old I started taking piano lessons. I loved it. However, I couldn't see a single note on the music just a foot or two away from my eyes. They were just little black blurs on fuzzy lines. Because of this, I got into the terrible habit of not using my eyes, but playing music by my ear instead. Eventually, when I HAD to read my music, my teacher started to notice that I was squinting. I knew I needed glasses but didn't want to admit it, because my seven year old brain thought glasses were for grandmas, moms, or "weirdos". Long story short, I went to the eye doctor...and after lots of "look right at my light, my ear, that vent..." and lots of "HOOOOLY...is he trying to get close enough to kiss me?!" it was for sure a fact that I needed glasses. I ended up choosing the pinkest, BIGGEST, and nerdiest glasses a kid could possibly pick. I mean, I was seven...oh well. Since then, my eyes have gotten progressively worse and worse. I'm literally the girl who would be on the ground feeling around with my hands if my glasses got knocked off my face. I am "legally blind" which basically if I was to drive without glasses or contacts...I'd for sure rear end you. Having bad eyesight has always been a difficult thing. Having to deal with glasses and contacts for 12 years of my life has gotten tiring. However, because I have Jesus in my heart and mind...I try to search for Him everywhere. I try to pray without ceasing (which for sure isn't always the case) but one thing i've tried doing differently this year is giving my "bad eyes" to Jesus. When I take the few seconds it takes to put in my contacts or put on my glasses I make sure to as Him if He will help guide me to see how He sees.
"Help me to see others how you see it. Help me to see Salinas how you see it. Help me to see myself how you see me. Help me to see the world how you see it. Help me to see 6:00 AM like you see it. Help me to see the sandpaper people in my life how you see them."
Despite my REAL bad eyes, and my spiritual bad eyes, I like to think that Jesus looks forward to these questions every morning...even though they don't change, because I allow Him to remind me throughout the day when I'm not using my eyes how He would use them.
xxoo

Husband letters.

Like the Dead Sea
You told me I was like the Dead Sea
You'll never sink when you are with me
Oh, Lord, like the Dead Sea
Whoa, I'm like the Dead Sea
  The nicest words you ever said to me
  The finest words you ever said to me
Honey can't you see,
I was born to be, be your Dead Sea.

 Dear future husband,

I hope and pray you're my personal Dead Sea, and I hope I'm yours.

(With Valentines day around the corner) I hope that we would treat each other every day as if it's Valentines. Not just appreciate our love like we do on February the 14th, but every single morning when we wake up, every night when we go to sleep, and every second in between.

I hope that you really like burritos and cinnamon jolly ranchers. 

I also hope that you appreciate how often I change my hair.

I hope you get excited about my dreams, like i'll get excited about yours.

I really really hope you like sleeping in.

xo

Cosmetology 200 - Day 1.

Today was the very first day of my Cosmetology 200 - spring semester. 

Lets rewind a little bit...
This whole entire break I have spent staying up until 3:00 A.M. and waking up somewhere between the hours of 12:00 P.M. - 2:00 P.M.
Not super healthy or wise, but it happened, lets move on.
Because of these recent terrible sleeping habits, I decided to go to bed super early last night because of the fact that I had to wake up at 6:00 A.M...um, ew!
So, crossing off everything on my to do list, last night I literally crawled in bed at 7:15...
7:15!
I fell asleep so fast and so easily...without any help from my trusty pal Advil P.M.
I literally fell into the best sleep of my life. A few hours later I woke up thinking that it was almost time to get up. I checked the time...9:45....
WHAT?!
"9:45, OH NO!!! My class starts at 8:10! I can't believe I slept in! I'm going to get dropped! Dad said he'd MAKE SURE I was up at 6! NONONONONO!"
All these thoughts raced through my head at once as I threw the blankets off me and jumped out of bed heading for the shower, with a heart that was going to explode out of my chest...
Wait a second...It's REALLY dark outside...at 9:45 A.M?
I don't think so...I've been asleep for less than THREE hours!
I don't know about you, but waking up thinking that it's time to get and actually finding out that I have the ENTIRE night to sleep, is really the most exciting thing in the world...

Fast forward to this morning.
What I learned.

1. 6:00 A.M. is really unpleasant.
2. It's pretty easy to take a picture and drive at the same time.
3. It's a little unnecessary to leave an hour before class starts when it only takes 30 minutes to get there.
4. I was the only one who wasn't at class more than 30 minutes early, and was then the only one without a chair...for a really long time.
5. It's awkward to stand for a long time...and listen to instructors say "pass that to the standing girl."
6. A whole lot of Cosmetology students look like they're going to prom...I mean if that's what you like go for it. However, I myself love for my face to be able to breathe!
7. Just because someone looks like they're going to be kind, doesn't mean they will be.
8. This no coffee filter thing in my house better not last very long. I needed an afternoon pick me up by 10! Black tea just isn't going to cut it.
9. Have you ever used a time card? Well...I haven't, but I for sure stamped the wrong slot more than twice.
10. It's exciting when teachers let you out early on the first day...like 5 hours early...I wish that would happen every day! ;)
Until tomorrow,
xoxo.

A happy list.

Today I woke up with a disgusting head cold...thanks mom...and at first I didn't feel too happy, but I decided to bring back the blogging every day thing, and kick it off with a happy list.

15 things that make me terribly happy

 

1. Being the first to know something.

2. Free Wi-Fi.

3. Beating my high score on any game.

4. When clothes from online shopping actually fit.

5. Finally seeing someone you've been missing.

6. Opening a jar that no one else could open.

7. Untouched snow.

8. Drinking from a new mug.

9. When my turn signal is the same beat that my music is.

10. A smile from across the room.

11. Answered prayers.

12. Being motivated.

13. Checking things off my to do list.

14. Typing really fast with no mistakes!

15. The pop when opening a Snapple. 

 

the fam-bam

I realize Thanksgiving is over, and Christmas is literally just about to peek it's head around the corner and scream "Surprise! I'm here!" but that doesn't mean my thankful heart has gone anywhere. 

Today, I'm thankful for my family. I'm thankful that we are all imperfect. That we all yell, get mad, bug each other, laugh with each other, and love each other. I'm thankful for my two older sisters who are beautiful and have taught me countless things in life. I'm thankful for my brother who challenges me every day in many ways and his kind, accepting heart. I'm thankful for my parents who have raised us all to love the Lord in an unforced way. I'm thankful for their bed that we have sat around countless nights until early hours of the morning either laughing, crying, fighting, yelling, etc...(actually all of those seem to happen at the same time).

I'm glad I have them, because I really don't think I'd want anyone else.

It's the little things.

"Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you'll look back and realize they were the big things."
It's the little things like...

1. Faces with laugh lines.
2. Watching movies. Specifically the Grinch, and quoting it the whole time.
3. Trying to eat with chopsticks.
4. The perfect shower temperature.
5. Getting the lid off a jar no one else could...even though everyone else "loosened it for me"...whatever!
6. Perfectly separating an Oreo.
7. The short moment of silence when I'm driving under an overpass when it's raining.
8. When someone saves me a seat.
9. When a stoplight turns green before I brake.
10. Watching bloopers.
11. Finally seeing the car that's coming to pick me up. 
12. Vacuum lines.
13. The feeling of fresh shaved legs on soft sheets.
14. Having a contest of hiding a hideous stuffed glove that is decorated like Santa with my dad...found it hidden in my laptop a while ago. It is now currently on his shower rack waiting to greet him with those creepy bobble eye stickers at 5:30 A.M...I win today, he just has no idea yet.
15. Getting to spend a lot of time with my favorite four littles...they are fun, adorable, challenging, exhausting, and an amazing reminder of how patient Christ is with me, because of the amount of patients and love I need to have towards them. Endless questions, broken things, little arguments, messes, and fits...I have these issues with Christ every day, and He doesn't lose his patients with me...what a gift!

One Direction and the call.

 http://z100.com/l/hlm  
^^^^ Click me please, lovelies! ^^^^

 picture via pinterest

Most of you have read on my Facebook that I had two missed calls which caused a TON of anxiety. 

Well here is my story...

Nine days ago I entered a contest on the Ellen Degeneres website titled "Take Me to 1D!"  It was a contest where you entered all your information, and a letter of 1,500 characters telling Ellen why you deserved to win. It was a trip from December 2nd - December 5th for three people, with airfare and hotels paid for...you also got to hang out with the lovely and adorable British boy band, One Direction.

Now, lets back up a few months. This past July, my wonderful sister Candace told me about One Direction, and sent me the link to their song What Makes You Beautiful.  I replied to her "eh, they're okay...the blonde is a little cute..." Really? Looking back now I cannot believe those words came out of my mouth. I now absolutely adore their music and even more their personalities shown on YouTube videos that Candace and I send back and forth daily.

My letter to Ellen went just like this...

"Dear Ellen,

I realize there are millions of young and maybe even old women trying to enter and win this. You may have read sob stories, you may have read jokes, and you may have read begs and pleads for you to choose each individual. I do not have a sob story, I will not beg to win, however, I am ridiculously funny...but I'm fresh out of jokes today;) Last summer, my sister Candace sent me a link to the "What Makes You Beautiful" video by the wonderful One Direction. I, however, wasn't interested. I replied "eh, they're okay, and only kind of cute..." After a few months, I had a huge change of heart. The boys of 1D snuck their sneaky ways into my heart, and I fell for their music hard. I absolutely love them. I would love to meet them. I realize my chances are EXTREMELY low, however, I'm entering because I still believe I COULD have a chance! One Directions music has filled me, and my house with joy. I mean, even my dad comes home singing "Tonight let's get some, and live while we're younggggg!" I believe I deserve to win, because I am a fun, loud, huge fan of One Direction. I also promise that if I do win, I will not scream or cry while I meet them! My dreams would come true if I could meet these wonderful boys. I also would be able to cross off an item off my bucket list! I feel like I'm rambling now, and I have said what I need to say!

In the words of the Hunger Games, may the odds be ever in my favor!

xoxo Ellen!"

 I clicked send, knowing that I had absolutely no chance of winning at ALL. I always think of contests like this like a shark attack. When you plunge into the salty brine also known as the Ocean, you know that you COULD be bit by a shark, but annually around the world, only FIVE people die because of a shark attack. Yes, I COULD win...but me being one girl out of millions, I knew I had no hope. 

Well, on Monday night, November 26th...I was in my Biology lab at Gavilan Community College. It is a terrible night class from 5:30-7:00 P.M. I, being a stickler for rules, turned my phone on vibrate and shoved it in my book bag. When I got out of my lab, I checked my phone to see that I had a missed call from a number with an (818) area code. I had missed the call by FOUR MINUTES. My heart started racing because I KNEW it was an L.A. area code. I called it back and got a voice recording that said "You have reached a non working number for Warner Brothers Studios." My mind went ballistic. What if I won? Ellen is apart of Warner Brothers Studio! 

I called my sister Candace, and we freaked out together exchanging "What if we won?" and "Will they call back?!"  However, I am 100% an optimist, and Candace is 100% a pessimist. We are polar opposites. She immediately planted the seed, "What if you had one chance to pick up and you missed it and they move on to someone else?" I decided to take the optimistic way of thinking and told her to "be quiet, you're going to make me really sad! I know they'll call me back!" 

I raced home and checked my home phone. Sure enough, the exact same number had called my house phone one minute prior to calling my cell phone.  Just to be sure, I googled the number and everything that came up stated "This is the number Ellen uses to call you and tell you that you won tickets to her show!"

Then the real freak out began. I could not believe that number one, I might have won, and number two...I MISSED THE CALLS. I have never been so heart sick, excited, or anxious in my entire life. I realized how lame that sounds, but oh well...I didn't eat dinner, and didn't fall asleep until after 4:30 in the morning, telling myself over and over again that "they'll call back tomorrow!" Well, Tuesday rolled around, and by the afternoon no one had called. I googled and googled numbers until I found one for the Warner Brothers Studio. I called and told the super sweet lady about my situation. She transferred me over to another super sweet lady who answered with "Hello, Ellen Degeneres studio, how can I help you?" I explained my situation and she said that all she knew was "If you win, you win, and if that specific department wants to get a hold of you, they will hun." I thanked her, and waited. I waited and waited...and waited. I slept with my house phone and cell phone on my pillow, took them to the bathroom with me, set them outside the shower, and told everyone in my house that "They BETTER answer the phone no matter what!" 

Well...Wednesday rolled around and the contest closed. I was still hopeful thinking they would maybe contact me today. They didn't, and another girl won the contest. I missed my chance to win, by four minutes. Four minutes. I had so much hope, and so much optimism about this contest. I could taste my dreams they were so close. However, they now belong to someone else. Going back to the Shark attack, it was like I was in the water, and a huge grey dorsal fin was coming towards me...I was about to be bitten, but it turned away and went after something else. I saw it. I saw the "shark", but it didn't bite me. 

I was super sad about it at first...and still am sad...but I know that God's will is going to be done no matter how bad I want something. He knows what's best for me, and I trust Him with all my heart. My mom said yesterday that maybe I would get this excited to teach me to anticipate Him coming for me, like I was anticipating this win. Of course, being a mom, she was right. I do need to anticipate Christ coming back for me, and be so anxious and excited for that just like I have been for this "almost" One Direction win.

 

Because I have lost this contest, I have decided to enter another one (with absolutely no hope or excitement this time!)  I randomly found it while searching for next year's tickets for my sister and I. 

What it is, is a link that my mom filled out for me, and what makes you a winner is clicking the link and getting the most page views. Simple. I KNOW this time I'm not going to win, but I've decided to just go for it. I am a huge dreamer, and I will not change that. So. With all this being said...would you mind clicking the link below for me? And maybe even sharing it for others to click? I'd absolutely love a win, after a super discouraging loss. Thank you! 

http://z100.com/l/hlm

^^^ LINK TO CLICK TO HELP ME WIN ^^^

xoxo.

Day 19. How deep the Father's love for us!

 Today I'm thankful for the truths of this song, and how beautiful the words really are, and the meaning they have for my heart.

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

 

To make a wretch his treasure. I am 100% a wretch. I am a sinner. I am gross. I have a hard heart. I am perfectly imperfect, and completely flawed. However, I am a treasure in the eyes of Jesus Christ! There is nothing better than that! 

Day 10.

Today I'm thankful for a weirdy sister who was up late with me last night doing homework across the table, listening to my music, and encouraging me too keep working when I didn't want to. Because of it, I had a Saturday free of homework. I'm also thankful for an Aunt and Uncle who like to play games as much as we do, and who came all the way from Marina to play some aggravation. It's the little things.

Day 9.

Yesterday I was thankful that one day I get to be a mom. Today I'm thankful that one day I get to be a wife.

I'd like to be the kind of wife who creates a peaceful home. Whatever that may look like...if he needs a clean house, I'll keep it clean (okay lets be honest, with this neat freak it's going to be clean anyways), if he needs it to be quiet, I will tone down the volume of my ever so loud voice and keep quiet, if he really...really...really wants the laundry done all the time, I'll put aside my absolute hate for doing laundry and get it done. If it's little things like keeping things organized and put away, I'll make sure that's the case 100% of the time.

I'd like to be an agreeable wife! I am extremely stubborn and way too independent sometimes. I like to do things on my own, without being told how to do them. Seriously, if you give me tips on how to open a peanut butter jar, or how to do dishes, I'll argue back that my way is just as effective and really, did I even ask for your permission in the first place? Nope. See? It's a real problem. Proverbs 21:9 says "It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife." Say what? Don't you think that is a little too extreme? .... The more I think about it, the more I agree with it. If I was a man, I would so not want to live with an argumentative, quarrelsome wife. In fact, if someone was arguing with me over stupid things LIKE how to open a peanut butter jar, or how to do the dishes, I myself would like to go live on a tiny little roof corner...and for sure I do not want to be the kind of wife who causes my husband to want to live on a roof, rather than in our home.

I'd like to be a recreational wife. I am completely not the type of girl to sit on a couch and do nothing. I want to be out, I want to do, I want to try new and exciting things. I want to have crazy adventures.

I want to be an attractive wife. "Hello, yes obviously" you may say. I don't want to ever stop being attractive for my main man. I want to continue to be attractive for him even though I know I'll already have him.

I'd like to be an encouraging wife. One that builds up with my words, thoughts, and actions. I'd like to be an  encourager, an admirer, and appreciative and SHOW it all day, everyday. I'd like to be the kind of wife who my husband will feel safe with. Not the kind of safe where I'd beat somebody for him (although if he asked, I'd sure try), but the kind where he knows that he will have someone praying for him continually, on his side always, and will be there for him until my dying days.

I'd like to be a sweet, gentle, loving, captivating, and precious type of wife.

Honestly this list could go on for days...but for now, last and probably the most importantly, I want to be a submissive and respectful wife. This is probably going to be really hard. Not so much the respectful part, but the submissive part. I am almost way too independent...and submitting myself to someone else is going to be difficult, but I know with the right person it will be easy and worth it.
1 Corinthians 11:3 -  But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Ephesians 5:22-23, 33 - Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior...However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Colossians 3:18 - Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. '
1 Peter 3:1-2 - Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 

xx.

Day 8

I adore the rain. It's always been my favorite type of weather. The sky gets dark, the air gets cold, and the world turns a sparkly version of itself, that in my eyes is even more beautiful than it already is. Fire places get used, fuzzy socks get pulled out, scarves, boots, sweaters, and the heater is turned on...(finally!) When my siblings and I were younger, the rain was always a big deal. Especially to me. Because we were home schooled (yes, we're that kind of family) the rain meant that we would get to sleep in on these cuddly mornings just a little bit longer. It meant that we would probably get to do just a little less schoolwork and a lot more listening to my mom read out loud while we colored on the floor. It meant that we were probably going to get hot chocolate with mini marshmallows. If you had asked me on a rainy when I was five if I had a cool mom, I'd tell you in the five year old way saying "Yeah, she's a bad ass." On one of these awesome kiddie rainy days, I decided that I wanted to be just like my mom, even more some on a rainy day. I wanted to give my kids hot chocolate, watch movies, and make blanket forts with them too...

Now that I'm older, and think about having littles far too often...whenever it rains I think to myself maybe a little too proudly, "I'm gonna be a bad ass mom, just like mine, and I cannot wait for rainy days spent with my little babes!"

I will do just that.

I'm thankful for a bomb mom, and that i'll get to be one someday, too! 

Day 7

Today I'm thankful that God has given me a heart that is filled to the brim with the longing for adventure, and one day I'll be able to have those crazy adventures that my heart craves.

Day 5 and Day 6

Day 5 - Yesterday I was thankful that I didn't cry when I woke up. Ridiculous I know...but most Monday mornings I wake up and instantly get teary eyed knowing that I have a very long (10 hour), and very lonely school day ahead of me. However I decided that I didn't need to be sad, because Tuesday was just around the corner, and Monday doesn't last very long.

Day 6 - Today I'm thankful that I'm a woman! 

Day 4

Today I'm thankful for the fact that I have never been, and hopefully will never be a procrastinator...I'm really into just getting done what I need to get done, so I can do other things and not waste my precious time in life. I'm thankful that God has given me a self motivating and a hard working personality.
I'm also thankful for the fact that I only have FIVE, count them, five...weeks of school left! I. Cannot. Wait.