One Direction Mash

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6eIpLEgUjw


My sister and I mashed every One Direction song from their first and second albums. Check it out!:)

Oceans.

go down to the sea in ships, Who do business on great waters; They have seen the works of the LORD, And His wonders in the deep.
- See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/Oceans#sthash.uBRbYgZl.dpuf

Because I'm a California girl, I've grown up spending a big chunk of time at the beach. Also, because I have two older sisters to keep up with, a lot of that beach time was spent in the water. Honestly, I'm not a huge fan of swimming in the ocean, but I have never let fear, or "what ifs" keep me from having fun or living my life. There's something about the ocean that gets me. I've always been completely awestruck by it. Maybe because it's huge, or powerful, or unknown. Maybe because I find it completely beautiful. I could sit and listen to waves for hours on end, or breath in salty breaths and squish my toes in the sand all day. I love it.

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

Those lyrics are from the song Oceans by Hillsong United. I heard this song a few months ago, and thought it was amazing. It was one of those songs that gave me the "dang it, I wish I had written that myself!" feeling. Despite knowing that it was amazing, I didn't really relate to it. Not until now, when my life currently feels like it's trapped in the ocean. Stuck under waves, being knocked around, in the great unknown, where my feet are totally failing, and I don't know what's next. Maybe it stems from pride and not liking help, or just a plain heart full of sin, but it's hard to keep my eyes on Jesus when oceans rise. It's hard to let my soul rest in His embrace daily. It's hard to let myself be His every second of every day. It's hard to choose joy. Sometimes I feel guilty about that, but then I remember that His grace really does abound in the deepest water. When I'm stuck under waves with my eyes not on Him, He is sovereign and exactly what I need, and never fails me. Even though I can't see over the waves, He will mold my heart and lead me where my trust has zero borders and grow my faith. Today I'm thankful for that.

Sick Story, Dude.

Story time.
Last December I had a series of horrible tonsil infections. 3 in a matter of 4 months. Every time the infection came back, just to be safe, I went and got checked for Strep Throat. Every time it was a "No, but you should get your tonsils out if this keeps happening..."
No thanks.
Anyways, about six weeks ago my tonsils did their thing and got infected again. After rinsing with hot salt water and hydrogen peroxide, the infection went away. Usually the case. Despite the infection going away, my mom later that week got Strep Throat. She told me repeatedly to go get my throat checked even though I now felt fine.
I did, and she went with me...but there was almost a 2 hour wait in a room that smelled like...well, I'll leave it up to your imagination but lets just say really really gross.
Anyways, apparently if you leave your strep untreated, you get insanely sick...like way sick.
Since Saturday I've had something called Rheumatic fever:
"Rheumatic fever is an inflammatory disease that can develop as a complication of inadequately treated strep throat. Strep throat is caused by infection with group A streptococcus bacteria.
Rheumatic fever is most common in 5- to 15-year-old children, though it can develop in younger children and adults. Although it's very rare in United States and other developed countries, rheumatic fever remains common in many developing nations.
Rheumatic fever can cause permanent damage to the heart, including damaged heart valves and heart failure. Treatments can reduce tissue damage from inflammation, lessen pain and other symptoms, and prevent the recurrence of rheumatic fever" 
Sounds really fun huh? Nope. I promise it's not.

• Fever between 100-103
• Painful and tender joints — most often the ankles, knees, elbows or wrists; less often the shoulders, hips, hands and feet
• Pain in one joint that migrates to another joint
• Red, hot or swollen joints
• Small, painless nodules beneath the skin
• Chest pain
• Sensation of rapid, fluttering or pounding heartbeats (palpitations)
• Fatigue and Passing out
• Shortness of breath
• Flat or slightly raised, painless rash with a ragged edge (erythema marginatum)
• Jerky, uncontrollable body movements (Sydenham chorea or St. Vitus' dance) — most often in the hands, feet and face
• Outbursts of unusual behavior, such as crying or inappropriate laughing, that accompanies Sydenham chorea

 All the underlined symptoms are the ones I've continually endured since Sunday. (I'd like to point out that I have absolutely not been inappropriately laughing...whatever the heck that means. I've done lots of crying though.)



"Inflammation caused by rheumatic fever may last for a few weeks to several months. In some cases, the inflammation may cause long-term complications."

Those long term complications include heart problems, but I'm not going to worry about that. God is in control, I trust him, and now after 6 days I am diagnosed and have an antibiotic on it's way to the pharmacy.

Another long term, and heart breaking problem includes missing school. I missed all four days this week. I even tried to get up and go on Thursday, which ended in passing out less than five minutes after I showered.

I'm in Cosmetology school, and it's required for us to clock in and out every single day. Each day, we get a total of 7 hours. You're not allowed to miss anymore than four lectures, or four days of complete school. We only go to school four days a week...because of this, I am forced to withdraw from the program for one semester. If not, the chances of getting stuck in traffic and even missing one minute would result in a complete drop from the program and having to repeat ever hour I've ever put in. With withdrawing from the program just for the semester, I am able to keep my freshmen hours and start where I left off (the begging of my second semester) and come back in the spring. Now all I have to do is try to convince the school to refund my money...600 dollars. It's already passed the date to do so, but I'm going to battle this one hard. So now, all I need is prayer. And lots of it. Prayer that I heal, and find an awesome job to fill up my time in the next three months. Prayer that I don't consider myself a failure because I'm having to take a little time off of school. Prayer that I don't think OTHERS think I'm a failure. Prayer that I can get fully refunded for semester that I didn't even get to attend.
That's all.
xo.







 

I'm a sinner

I'm going to let you in on a little secret...I am a sinner. Like massively. I mean, I've never heard the words "you have the right to remain silent...", been handcuffed and locked away, and instead of saying "I don't go looking for trouble, trouble usually finds me..." I'd be more likely to say "Yeah, I did homework on a Friday night and slept in really late on Saturday morning."
But I am a sinner nonetheless! My heart is gross, judgmental, nasty, hard, and full of sin. I make mistakes, and a lot of time I don't wake up with the attitude of "Good morning, Lord! Send me, use me, and take my life as your own today."
What if that's all that there was? It would be terrible. Life would be a wreck. I would be a wreck. What if there was no forgiveness and no redemption? WAY too much I don't wake up with that specific attitude.  Today, I'm so thankful for Jesus Christ and the cross. I am SO thankful that Jesus gives us second, third, and millions of chances DAILY. I am so thankful that despite how gross my heart has been, and even will be in the future the hands that hold the world, hold my heart, and love me unconditionally. How awesome is that?
Today I'm thankful for Grace, and should be every day.

Self Worth

One of the things I struggle with most is my self worth. I have always searched for it in the wrong places. Friends...do they actually like hanging out with me? Am I funny enough? Am I outgoing enough? Looks...Do I look okay? Is my hair alright? Am I skinny enough now? Is my makeup smudged? Men...Am I being treated how I should? Maybe if I was prettier things wouldn't be so difficult. Maybe if I treat them really well I'll get some of that back.
For years, thoughts like those have plagued my mind and heart. However, the bottom line is that a woman becomes a woman when she becomes what God wants her to be. I will not be satisfied with good friends, good looks, or "Mr. right" (whatever that means). I will not be satisfied with cute clothes, good hair, tan skin, or a good job. I will not be satisfied when I get married, or see One Direction in concert (okay...maybe..), or when I have kids.
I'll be satisfied when I become the woman God wants me to be. I will be satisfied when I can wake up every morning and be able to recklessly abandon myself to the Lordship of Christ, diligently using my days to trust God with unwavering faith, demonstrating virtue in daily life, loving God with an UN-distracted devotion, standing for physical and emotional purity, living in security, responding to life with contentment, making choices based on my convictions, and waiting patiently for God to meet my needs. Knowing that fulfillment for a Christian woman begins with the Lordship of Christ in EVERY area of life. Sometimes it might be hard, and sometimes I think "dang this is impossible..." But it's not, because the hand that holds the world is holding my heart, and I trust Him.

My momma!

Sometimes when someone is in your life every day for 19 years, you kind of grow to like them...

Okay, maybe for sure more than like.

Today my mom turns 50! Which to me is "so old" or "half way to dead!" 

But really, I don't think those things at all about my mom.

She is the most beautiful woman in the world on the inside and outside. She is amazing, and the fact that she hasn't murdered me in the last 19 years is proof of how awesome she actually is. 

Sometimes...I can be a little sassy, stubborn, dumb, and have insane blonde moments (all of those things I picked up from my dad of course..) ;) 

However, despite all these things and all mine and my siblings faults, she still loves us and puts us first all the time. I look up to her a ridiculous amount, and want to be a mom, wife and woman of God, just like she is. 

 

Bad eyes.

When I was seven years old I started taking piano lessons. I loved it. However, I couldn't see a single note on the music just a foot or two away from my eyes. They were just little black blurs on fuzzy lines. Because of this, I got into the terrible habit of not using my eyes, but playing music by my ear instead. Eventually, when I HAD to read my music, my teacher started to notice that I was squinting. I knew I needed glasses but didn't want to admit it, because my seven year old brain thought glasses were for grandmas, moms, or "weirdos". Long story short, I went to the eye doctor...and after lots of "look right at my light, my ear, that vent..." and lots of "HOOOOLY...is he trying to get close enough to kiss me?!" it was for sure a fact that I needed glasses. I ended up choosing the pinkest, BIGGEST, and nerdiest glasses a kid could possibly pick. I mean, I was seven...oh well. Since then, my eyes have gotten progressively worse and worse. I'm literally the girl who would be on the ground feeling around with my hands if my glasses got knocked off my face. I am "legally blind" which basically if I was to drive without glasses or contacts...I'd for sure rear end you. Having bad eyesight has always been a difficult thing. Having to deal with glasses and contacts for 12 years of my life has gotten tiring. However, because I have Jesus in my heart and mind...I try to search for Him everywhere. I try to pray without ceasing (which for sure isn't always the case) but one thing i've tried doing differently this year is giving my "bad eyes" to Jesus. When I take the few seconds it takes to put in my contacts or put on my glasses I make sure to as Him if He will help guide me to see how He sees.
"Help me to see others how you see it. Help me to see Salinas how you see it. Help me to see myself how you see me. Help me to see the world how you see it. Help me to see 6:00 AM like you see it. Help me to see the sandpaper people in my life how you see them."
Despite my REAL bad eyes, and my spiritual bad eyes, I like to think that Jesus looks forward to these questions every morning...even though they don't change, because I allow Him to remind me throughout the day when I'm not using my eyes how He would use them.
xxoo

Husband letters.

Like the Dead Sea
You told me I was like the Dead Sea
You'll never sink when you are with me
Oh, Lord, like the Dead Sea
Whoa, I'm like the Dead Sea
  The nicest words you ever said to me
  The finest words you ever said to me
Honey can't you see,
I was born to be, be your Dead Sea.

 Dear future husband,

I hope and pray you're my personal Dead Sea, and I hope I'm yours.

(With Valentines day around the corner) I hope that we would treat each other every day as if it's Valentines. Not just appreciate our love like we do on February the 14th, but every single morning when we wake up, every night when we go to sleep, and every second in between.

I hope that you really like burritos and cinnamon jolly ranchers. 

I also hope that you appreciate how often I change my hair.

I hope you get excited about my dreams, like i'll get excited about yours.

I really really hope you like sleeping in.

xo

Cosmetology 200 - Day 1.

Today was the very first day of my Cosmetology 200 - spring semester. 

Lets rewind a little bit...
This whole entire break I have spent staying up until 3:00 A.M. and waking up somewhere between the hours of 12:00 P.M. - 2:00 P.M.
Not super healthy or wise, but it happened, lets move on.
Because of these recent terrible sleeping habits, I decided to go to bed super early last night because of the fact that I had to wake up at 6:00 A.M...um, ew!
So, crossing off everything on my to do list, last night I literally crawled in bed at 7:15...
7:15!
I fell asleep so fast and so easily...without any help from my trusty pal Advil P.M.
I literally fell into the best sleep of my life. A few hours later I woke up thinking that it was almost time to get up. I checked the time...9:45....
WHAT?!
"9:45, OH NO!!! My class starts at 8:10! I can't believe I slept in! I'm going to get dropped! Dad said he'd MAKE SURE I was up at 6! NONONONONO!"
All these thoughts raced through my head at once as I threw the blankets off me and jumped out of bed heading for the shower, with a heart that was going to explode out of my chest...
Wait a second...It's REALLY dark outside...at 9:45 A.M?
I don't think so...I've been asleep for less than THREE hours!
I don't know about you, but waking up thinking that it's time to get and actually finding out that I have the ENTIRE night to sleep, is really the most exciting thing in the world...

Fast forward to this morning.
What I learned.

1. 6:00 A.M. is really unpleasant.
2. It's pretty easy to take a picture and drive at the same time.
3. It's a little unnecessary to leave an hour before class starts when it only takes 30 minutes to get there.
4. I was the only one who wasn't at class more than 30 minutes early, and was then the only one without a chair...for a really long time.
5. It's awkward to stand for a long time...and listen to instructors say "pass that to the standing girl."
6. A whole lot of Cosmetology students look like they're going to prom...I mean if that's what you like go for it. However, I myself love for my face to be able to breathe!
7. Just because someone looks like they're going to be kind, doesn't mean they will be.
8. This no coffee filter thing in my house better not last very long. I needed an afternoon pick me up by 10! Black tea just isn't going to cut it.
9. Have you ever used a time card? Well...I haven't, but I for sure stamped the wrong slot more than twice.
10. It's exciting when teachers let you out early on the first day...like 5 hours early...I wish that would happen every day! ;)
Until tomorrow,
xoxo.

A happy list.

Today I woke up with a disgusting head cold...thanks mom...and at first I didn't feel too happy, but I decided to bring back the blogging every day thing, and kick it off with a happy list.

15 things that make me terribly happy

 

1. Being the first to know something.

2. Free Wi-Fi.

3. Beating my high score on any game.

4. When clothes from online shopping actually fit.

5. Finally seeing someone you've been missing.

6. Opening a jar that no one else could open.

7. Untouched snow.

8. Drinking from a new mug.

9. When my turn signal is the same beat that my music is.

10. A smile from across the room.

11. Answered prayers.

12. Being motivated.

13. Checking things off my to do list.

14. Typing really fast with no mistakes!

15. The pop when opening a Snapple.